Is it really possible to love two men at the same time?
Love, relationship and family
In love, suffering is also part of the game and it is through moments of questioning that we manage to find real stability.Published on November 22, 2020, Seytoo
Every woman has asked herself at least once in her life this question: can you love two men (or two women) at the same time? While each of us has made our own answer, we can nevertheless try to understand the mechanism of "double" love.
You have a lasting relationship with your husband and your feelings have not, it seems, been regressed. Yet, one fine day, your chance of meeting a good-looking man upsets your principles. It's love at first sight. Unable to resist its charm, you begin to lead a double life…
Two people, two loves
The feeling that legitimately resides in a woman loving two people at the same time is that of guilt. It is indeed not easy to live in such a situation without being torn. The confusion can be total because the feelings of love can coexist. Those felt with her lover will be passionate, intense and uncontrollable. With her husband, the feelings are different because the relationship is lasting. Security and complicity are undeniable.
However, when a new love affair takes shape - even more if it is secret - each person tends to overestimate the lover they meet. And therefore to believe that the feelings felt are stronger than anything. Because the relationship provides new wants and needs, it is idealized and acts like a sham. In the long run, we often realize that there is a gap between the fantasy of this new relationship and real love.
Love and dialogue
Chance of life and dating cannot fully explain why a woman loves two men at the same time. In the relationship with her husband, after many years, weariness can arise and allow to leave an external opening to another feeling of love. Very often, non-dialogue gives way to distance and that is why it is easier to have a second love.
How then can we avoid leaving this double life? The easiest way would be to talk to her husband. Of course, you don't always have to say everything, especially if the extramarital affair is fleeting, but it may be the only way to make the situation bearable. If the person loves you with a non-possessive love, the dialogue might even help you save the relationship and understand the reasons that led to the situation.
Loving two people at the same time does not seem like a sustainable situation in the long run. Many testimonies from women who have lived through this situation believe that ultimately, having two loves at the same time is not living fully either. Indeed, even if the situation is clear to all parties, it is inevitable that conflicts, dissatisfaction and therefore suffering will multiply in the long term. The fact, for example, of living daily with her husband is a delicate position to manage.
We can, therefore, love two men, but it is not possible to live serenely without ultimately making a choice. The stakes are too high - especially if you have children - to believe that the situation will work out naturally. In love, suffering is also part of the game and it is through moments of questioning that we manage to find real stability.