Should I accept to marry the man (or woman) my parents have chosen for me?
Love, relationship and family
A marriage not based on the mutual consent of the two suitors is from the outset doomed to failure.Updated on January 22, 2021, Seytoo
Nowadays, there are still fathers in some families who still have not understood the seriousness of imposing a man on his daughter or a daughter on his son, and to refuse everything but for their child to accept the choice they made for him or her... We are still seeing this type of behavior, some parents act sometimes out of their passion and their total ignorance of religious texts or simply for their own interests and materials.
What is important to say loud and clear to the father, and in an intangible way, is that it is not permissible for the father to force his son or daughter to marry someone. The father must fear God in making such a decision! Because a marriage not based on the mutual consent of the two suitors is from the outset doomed to failure. It is not an ingratitude if the son or daughter refuses to submit to the will of the father, and does not marry the person wanted by the father. Parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone who he or she does not love, whether it is due to a religious, moral, physical or material fault. It's like we want him or her to eat what he doesn't want.
In fact, many people have regretted forcing their children to marry women or men they did not want or to have accepted the choice imposed on them by their father or mother. The Religion does not give any obligation to a son (or a daughter) to obey his father or his mother when it comes to doing things which do not affect the parents in any way by any harm and which can benefit him. It would therefore be a prejudice to consider that the son must obey in all matters even when it could harm him and not realize any interest for the father.
However, a father may propose to his son to marry, for example, his niece or another woman for various reasons. In case of disagreement, it would be necessary, considering the impact of the parents within our African families, that the son be skillful in sparing his father and trying to convince him as best as possible ... even if he does not have to obey him. This would avoid potential conflicts that can have an impact on the harmony of the couple.