How to manage time within the couple, whether you have too much or too less of it?
Type 1: You are available, he is busy.
You don't take much time to study or work. You would like to spend all your free time with your sweetheart, living on love and fresh water, but there is not much time available. When he comes home he is tired, he doesn't always want to talk. You look for ways to get his attention, but you can't.
What is the advantage and disadvantage of such couple? Well, you have a lot of time to take care of yourself and your own projects. However, the disadvantage is that, you may feel lonely.
So what can you do about it? Respect the cave. When a man is in his cave, it is advised not to disturb him until he comes out. Find activities. If he's busy, do the same. You are bored and you do not know what to do while he is away. Use the concept of the anti-boredom box to find something to take care of. Socialize. Okay, he's not available, but just hanging on to him doesn't make him more present. On the contrary, as soon as we feel that a man is slipping away from us, seeing us going out often with our girlfriends will make him want to see us more often. He realizes that we have a life outside of him and that we are not dependent totally on him.
Type 2: You're busy and he's available.
You have a lot of activities to keep up with, you can't see the time passing by and you feel overwhelmed. Your man would like to spend more time with you. But it's hard for you to give him all the time he asks for. He's having trouble finding room in your life.
The advantage is that, since he is available, he has the flexibility to adapt to your schedule. However, he may feel helpless.
So, what are the solutions? Watch your time management. To find out how you manage your time, take a small notebook and write down all the activities you do and their duration for a week. At the end of each day, classify your activities according to their type: sleep, work, sport, storage, administration, social life, love life, etc. At the end of the week, calculate the duration of each activity over a week. And ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I managing my time well?
- What activities take a lot of my time but are not really important?
- Do I ever stop important activities to do unnecessary things? Why?
- Will I be able to share some of my activities with my partner so that he or she does not feel neglected?
- Are there some things I could delegate? What and to whom?
- How long do I give my darling? Does that seem sufficient to me?
This may give you a different perspective on your ability to manage time. Be present differently. Even when you can't see him much, you can show him your presence with a little message or a little phone call from time to time. It only takes a few minutes and so he won't feel like you've forgotten him. Reassure him with words. He may think you aren't giving him more time because you don't want or like him. Reassure him for example by thanking him after an evening spent with him, by telling him that you appreciate the moments spent with him. When you decline an invitation, remember to let them know that you wish you could say yes, and come forward as soon as you are available to go out again.
Type 3: You are available and he is available.
You are 100% (or almost!) available and so is he. Everything is fine then, right? You spend a lot of time together, so much so that you can't imagine living without each other. You have built yourself a little cocoon where you both feel good, so you see others a little less.
The advantage is that you can fully enjoy each other. However, the disadvantage is that you can become addicted to each other.
What to do about it then? Think if you could lose him or her. I know it's not pleasant, it even scares you but no one is safe from separation, which is why relying on one person to be safe can be dangerous. Open up to others. Finding it hard to do without each other? So first, invite friends over and see them together. Spend time without each other. When you feel confident, try to spend at least an evening without the other at your parents' house, for example. Take stock after the party. How did you feel? Anxious, relieved? Are you ready to repeat the experience?
Type 4: You're busy and he's busy.
You are both very busy, you have busy days, and you spend your time running and passing each other.
The benefit of that situation is that you show understanding for each other. However, you have a hard time finding yourself.
What are the solutions? Your challenge is each on your own to manage your time well so that you can give yourself time to relax together. Take an interest in the other. You are stressed out by your worries or thinking about all that remains for you to do. But there is a time for everything. Make the most of the moments you spend with your partner. Don't talk about yourself all the time and show him that you are interested in him. For example by asking him how his day went or by checking in on something that is worrying him. Schedule dating times for yourselves, on your calendar; spending time together will seem as much of a priority as any other date. Plus, planning ahead will prevent you from planning anything else instead. Keep in touch. Even if you are not very present, you can stay connected to each other through one or more means of communication that are at your disposal: social networks, e-mail, texts, phone calls and even more traditional way by handwritten letters!
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