Why and how parents should talk about sexuality with their children?
Love, relationship and family
The imperative duty to talk to your children about sexuality.Updated on January 14, 2021, Seytoo
Many parents wonder how and when to approach the sensitive issue of sexuality with their children. The following leads will enlighten us on the subject.
Sex education, when to talk about it?
There is no specific or ideal age for discussing sexuality with a child. From an early age, children develop an interest in touching their penis or vulva when bathing or changing diapers. The little one is already a sexual being. Little by little, during his second year of life, he will recognize and name the different parts of his body, including his genitals, the names of which will be taught to him using the appropriate terms, as we do for all of them for other parts of the body. This is one way to make our child already feel that we are comfortable with the question.
Afterwards, toddlers will begin to observe the differences between boys and girls... and ask lots of questions! The boy may, for example, ask why his friend from daycare doesn't have a penis like him. Or why moms have big breasts and little girls don't. It is important that the child feels in his parent an openness to talk about “things of life,” even if sometimes one can wonder if he is not too small to understand. From the moment the child asks questions, it is because he has the desire and the capacity to understand and, above all, that he is already creating scenarios in his head. You might as well give him the most accurate information possible.
Children's sexuality: what to say and how to say it?
If many parents feel uncomfortable talking about sex with their child, it's often because they don't know what to say or how to say it. We have to go there as simply as possible without going beyond what our child asks of us. If it is not clear what he has been answered, he will come back with more specific questions. For example, to the child who will ask us how we make babies, we can first answer that a little seed of the dad will join a small egg in the womb of the mother and that a baby will develop thus, all slowly. A little older, the child will question more precisely on “How does the seed of the father get into the mother?” And it will then be time to go a little further by explaining the sexual relationship to him.
If certain questions make us uncomfortable, we can simply ask our child for a delay in this way: “It's a very good question that you ask me, I do not know what to say to you, let me think before answering because your question is important .” This will give us a moment to tame our discomfort and seek advice from our loved ones if necessary. It is of course essential to come back to the question with the child in order to prevent him from understanding that it is a taboo subject that we have chosen to avoid voluntarily.
Children's sexuality: we respect their privacy.
Between the age of 5 and 7, a child will naturally develop modesty in front of his body, by closing his bedroom door when he undresses, for example. However, it is important to respect this desire for privacy. It will also help him gain respect in his relationships with others. We can take the opportunity to discuss the issue of intimacy with him, tell him that his body belongs to him and that he has the right to refuse physical contact that makes him uncomfortable. And above all, also encourage him to talk about it if such a situation occurs. With good communication on the issue of sexuality with our children, they will be more open to talking about it as well.