Why are men polygamous and not women?
Love, relationship and family
Polygamy is a natural and normal solution to the problem of men and women at the same time, from both a sexual and a social point of view.Updated on January 14, 2021, Seytoo
This matter can be put through a question that arises in the mind, namely: why did some religions allow a man to take multiple wives and not a woman to take several husbands (polyandry)?
According to Islam, the answer includes two points:
The first is that the patriarchal family regime based on the father as the original representative of the family is a fundamental regime in Islam. It may also be fundamental in human reality. If history had known, in some of its episodes, the matriarchal regime, that is to say this regime governed by the mother and in which the father is subordinate to the mother in his family functions, this cannot be considered as a deviation and not as a norm. Islam adopted this patriarchal regime to consider a man responsible for the family and its vital affairs and as the source of his genealogy. This does not mean that the role of the mother and her genealogy are canceled. They are only secondary from this point of view, and in the light of these facts, it is not possible to accept polygamy as it raises the problem of the genealogical affiliation of children.
The second argument is that legislation can only result from a need for commitment in life. The history of man is that of the plurality of sexual relations, whether these relations are legal or illegal, which suggests that monogamy can in no way provide a solution to the problem and therefore, it must be exceeded for another option.
As for polyandry, it is a historically abnormal, even among primitive tribes who have not known the evolution of history. There is therefore no need for legislation to stop before this state to institute laws and qualifications. Considering the reasons for polygamy, we find war situations where the victims are much more numerous at the level of men than at the level of women. This makes the greater number of women and the smaller number of men a natural state which imposes the plurality of the relations of the man and not that of the relations of the woman, and this with the aim of solving sexual problems and spirituality of the woman who seeks to have a normal relationship with the man.
There is another point which deserves to be treated: the instinct of the man calling for plurality more than the instinct of the woman because the excitability of the man is more intense and faster than that of the woman. The woman has more need than the man of a psychic and physical preparation to respond positively to the stimulating elements of the instinct. It is known that the man reaches his orgasm before the woman and this leads to mental and physical problems for the woman insofar as she does not feel as satisfied as the man. It can be said from this fact that the excitability of women is not as positive as that of men. We can even notice in everyday life that it is the man who, attracted by the appeal of instinct, pursues the woman and prepares for her the atmosphere of deviation, while, in many situations, seduction of man by woman is caused by economic or other external factors.
Some European and American countries have experienced situations similar to polygamy and polyandry in what is called the operation of collective marriage where several men and several women live together in a common married life. But reality proved the failure of this experience, because it caused them more than one problem without giving them psychic satisfaction and happiness, especially with regard to women.
We can also notice that the woman tends to have a single relationship more than she tends to have multiple relationships. It is for this reason that the phenomenon of fidelity is more in force among women and not among men... The woman feels satisfied with a unique and natural relationship insofar as it moderates her excitability, while such a feeling of satisfaction is not present in men.
In the light of these considerations, we are faced with reality which imposes the need for polygamy because of instinct and general human dispositions and this poses a question commensurate with the phenomenon that legislation must confront in it, offering practical solutions. At the same time, we do not think that this does not constitute a need commensurate with the question and the phenomenon as recorded in women. At the most, we find in her only transient and occasional states which do not require great interest.
Thus, we find that Islamic legislation faces reality and gives solutions to complex problems from the natural needs of man. This is so because Islam does not legislate for angels, but for men, and polygamy is a natural and normal solution to the problem of men and women at the same time, from both a sexual and a social point of view.