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Love and family

Why do some men want to keep their graduate wives at home?

27 July 2021, Seytoo
Why do some men want to keep their graduate wives at home?

Some husbands do not hesitate to pay a high price just to keep their wives with diplomas at home.

In recent years, the proportion of women working in has steadily increased. For a lot of couples, this social change implies a fundamental questioning of traditional roles. The image of the couple has changed dramatically. Women are more and more active. More and more this work corresponds to the deepest aspirations of women as well as to a financial necessity.

This change gave rise to tensions or even new conflicts in the daily life of certain couples on the material and emotional level. Many husbands do not hesitate to pay a high price just to keep their wives at home. But until when? We have several times tried to answer certain questions. How to reconcile married life and work? How do spouses accept their respective jobs? What are their reservations and their areas of dissatisfaction? The answers to these questions have certainly helped many couples to better understand and resolve their problems. It is true that in our society, the education of children and domestic tasks are the responsibility of women. Thus, as our customs and traditions require, the financial and material support of the family is reserved for men. Considering the financial criterion, a woman's job should represent a relief for the man, a positive decision to be encouraged.

But unfortunately, this is still not the case, as other factors are involved. For a long time the salaried work of the wife was perceived in our country as proof of the incapacity of the head of the family. It's not uncommon today to hear some men say, “You couldn't do it without her paycheck, but as soon as I get a raise she'll stop working.” It is the demonstration that there are few men who take pride in the fact that “Madame is salaried.”

This unacknowledged shame of men is also reflected in this thought: “My wife no longer works, she no longer needs it. I win enough for two.” In the minds of most people, a woman's job means that a man has failed in one of his most basic duties. To this guilt is added a certain jealousy which can provoke reactions from another age. In short, all these arguments prove that there are still heads of families who, despite the remarkable advances in the field of gender, prefer their wives to stay at home.

For this purpose, they do not hesitate to pay a high price. In the majority of cases, this category of husbands offer their wives to stop working. On the other hand, they undertake to pay them their full salary. There are many examples. Unfortunately, very often the contract is broken to the detriment of the woman. Several working women in the office who accepted this choice of their husbands regretted it. Many of them are starting to work again. The reasons for this disappointment are explained by some women whose awakening was brutal. Sata D is a senior manager. She studied for a long time and worked in a large company.

After two years of career, Sata D married a wealthy entrepreneur. The latter dissuaded her after the birth of their first child from staying at home to take care of this little treasure. “I had to stay home for a year before resuming my job. I got one year availability” explains Sata. She adds that everything started well. After a year, when Sata wanted to resume her work as planned, her husband categorically objected. He maintained that the place of the woman was in the home not the contrary.

To definitively convince Sata, her husband offered to pay her all of her salary each month, including bonuses and allowances. Sata D accepted the offer. “At first I admit, I was happy because I was paid to do nothing,” she admits. A sedentary lifestyle at home will start to attack her morale. Lounging in the living room every day had made her gloomy. The graduate wife, prevented from holding a job, lived five years in the home. One day her entrepreneur husband will decide to marry a second wife, a hardworking woman. “He explained to me that the latter was going to stop working like me,” she recalls. The surprise of Sata was shocking the day her husband came to tell her that he had decided that his second wife would continue to work. But the first had to continue to keep the house to take care of the family.

To justify this decision, the husband argued that the first wife should play the role of watch over the family. From now on, she will take care of the well-being and development of the whole family. During the discussion “He told me that I was paid enough by him to provide this service,” Sata said. She had no choice but to comply with her husband's decision. This disappointing husband had not finished surprising her. He returned to the charge again. This time, he will tell his wife that he is no longer able to pay her all of her salary as the cost of living is high. This drop of water will make the camel's back overflow. Patient and model wife Sata D rebelled against his husband's blow.

She made the following offer to her husband: either he continues to pay her a full salary as planned or she will return to work. “He threatened me. If I dare to do as I say he is going to get a divorce. One fine morning I remember very well it was a Thursday. I took my courage in both hands. I went to see my former boss,” she says. The latter advised him to look for a job in another company. The position she had held was assigned to another woman. Sata's professional level made it easier for her to find employment elsewhere. She began as a volunteer in this company where she is currently an employee.

Women workers willy-nilly bend to the will of the ungrateful spouse who has opted for the easy solution: blackmail and threats to achieve their ends. The moral principles of conviviality, the sense of responsibility and duty are completely erased. These stubborn husbands put pressure by all means to convince their unhappy wife to give in to the law of the strongest.

The ordeal of Fatou C, a manager currently in another company, lasted a long time. This 40-year-old lady started working just two years ago. She tells us the reasons for this delay. Fatou C had agreed not to work according to her husband's choice. This man had the means to support his small family. One day the fate of the head of the family changed. He lost his job. There was more to the lady of the house than to set out in search of a stable job. After a year of research, Fatou C will get a job that pays well. Her spouse who had been unemployed for several months will have the chance to be offered a job. The beast that slept in him awoke. He asked his wife to resign to take care of her household only. The wife will categorically refuse. “I remember perfectly what happened to us when he was unemployed. We could hardly find food, my children who were all enrolled in private schools had all been transferred to public schools,” Fatou recalls. She regrets the years lost without working.

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