26 July 2021, Seytoo
How to get out and bounce back from failure?
You failed an exam, a competition, an interview, a professional experience or you have just suffered a sentimental or friendly failure. How to cash in and above all, how to bounce back?
Only those who have never experienced failure can understand how you feel. Despondency, anger, sadness .. And if this isn't your first failure, it's even harder.
But the good news is, you are not alone in this. There is hardly ever a life course without failure; failure should not be viewed as a shipwreck but, conversely, as an opportunity to rebound. Bounce back, yes, but how?
Watch out for loss of self-esteem
The risk is to get carried away by the very strong emotions which overwhelm you. Discouragement, anguish, and above all, loss of self-confidence. The wound of self-esteem can be so intense that some people almost lose all self-esteem, even the desire for life. Obviously, these are false leads, which won't really allow you to bounce back because you are denying the injury rather than healing it. The failure is not to be denied. Rather, we must analyze it, draw the elements to build other strategies.
Analyze failure to better digest it
So put your emotions aside, and force yourself to reason. Imagine your failure in front of you, as an external object, and try to analyze it.
Why did you fail? Was the goal you set for yourself too high? Did you have the right profile? Were you really motivated? And have you put the odds in your favour? Answer all this questions frankly, be in truth with yourselves.
A winner is someone who knows how to choose their fights, all coaches will tell you. In terms of studies or professional life, it is therefore essential to know if you have chosen the right direction, that is to say the one that motivates you and for which you have the required skills and talents.
Learn the right lessons
This is not about putting up with failure, but learning from all possible lessons for the future. In the event of sentimental failure, do not put all the blame on the other, but also recognize your shortcomings and your mistakes.
On the professional or student level, clearly identify the reasons that made you fail. And take this into account so as not to start over.
Don't be satisfied with good resolutions, but put in place concrete means to succeed. Schedule, reading, work, new lifestyle habits... To go to war and be victorious, it is better to have the right weapons!
Don't stay alone
To regain self-confidence, you must rely on your strengths, your qualities, your previous successes, etc. The failure you have just suffered tends to cover everything up, but gradually it will take up less space. To help you, think back to what you have achieved so far, the qualities that those around you appreciate in you...
The ideal is to do this work with an outside person, who will help you to be objective: a member of your family, a friend, a guidance counsellor...
Build a new project
Like the spark that revives the engine, this spotlight on your qualities and your strengths is often enough to get you going again. The analysis of your failure combined with this assessment shows you new paths to follow: you can thus build a new project, more in line with your personality, and therefore more motivating. From the analysis of your failure and your personality, you will build a new project.
Broaden your horizon
Successful paths are often strewn with failures… Ask a few seniors who are now fulfilled in their work. You will be amazed by the sinuosity of their route! In professional matters, however, you need to broaden your horizons and tell yourself once and for all that there is not just one job made for you, but many jobs or professional sectors that could suit you!
Likewise in terms of love: there isn't just one person made for you! After a sentimental failure, however, avoid setting out again immediately in conquest, because in this matter, success is never guaranteed and a new failure could make you plunge again. Instead, set small goals for success that are very easy to achieve. Organize a trip, redo the decor of your room, exercise.. And congratulate yourself when you have succeeded!
You relaunch the spiral of success, and you recharge the batteries of self-confidence to tackle your new life project.
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