26 August 2021, Elle
In accordance with the expectations of this cell, the missions and projects were linked, overlapped. Some are more complex and addicting than others. The areas of intervention became larger and more varied. The trips multiplied.
The issues closely followed by the central. I liked what I did more, but especially the person I became. It was fabulous. Working alongside industry references, leading end-to-end programs and strategic projects, working in close collaboration and confidence with decision-makers. Confidence was there and it was important not that I disappoint. Neither at my own level, nor with respect to others. I now saw the realities of the business world in a different light. The issues are so framed and driven over the long term and continuity that now it was easier for me to understand why it happened that certain decisions were made despite not necessarily being appreciated by a large majority.
In view of the significant volume of the workload, a restructuring propelled my mentor to the head of the pole dedicated to the management of all these projects. It had become essential to put this lever in place with a whole team, mainly made up of employees from the old management that we occupied when I started, to keep the machine going. I was his backup and kept going as best I could. I took over her interim in case of absence and she held me accountable just as much by delegating me several tasks and projects. Confidence was the key word and the meaning of sharing the main pedal. Everything was going well although the rhythm, the pressure, and the affront of the moods became at times, unbearable. It is true that we did not have the easiest N + 1 to live with. The pressure that came to him from the parent company was noticeable at our level. It is true that he is the only hyphen, but it must be recognized all the same that with his goals and his vision, he was very attached to it and gave himself all the means to get there.
So there was no room for laxity, hesitation, hearsay and indefensible speech. Everything that was studied had to be consistent. Even in error, you had to find a way to defend your positions. And in a smart way. He was going at high speed, coupled with immeasurable motivation and a drive for innovation. Like a manager, he did not hesitate to step up to defend the interests of his orientations. At the same time, he hated being discredited, especially if he saw the lightness of what was presented to him. With him, it worked, and it worked really hard. Of course, he was not liked by everyone. Which did not really concern me in the end? Because what really interested me was what he brought to my career? Especially since I didn't have any particular concerns with him. And for personal opinion, it is according to the posture, character and integrity that we embody towards others that we come to be respected. When you want to be irreproachable, you have to give yourself the means to be. I don't see how anyone would feel comfortable running over us for free, in any way without us lending them a blast. It does exist, but in this particular case, there was no place for this gratuitous wickedness. I don't remember having any altercations with this man. I saw him getting off more than one, straying from the standard of respectful and decent speaking, indulging in derogatory thoughts or comments. I watched and convinced myself that I would never give him the chance.
Maintaining this steady pace for four long years was no cup of tea. At the risk of cultivating chronic fatigue which would end up translating into a decline in productivity and performance, at the cost of mental health, the need to redeploy internally was imminent. Beginning of the musical chair game. My long-distance co-pilots successively reoriented their professional careers. It was time to find out something else. In the process, I had just given up on an opportunity which at first was enticing, but in the end found itself less interesting in the face of a counter-proposal from my firm to keep me. Already in 05 years I had managed to increase my advantages. My annual evaluations largely testified to these evolutions and were sanctioned by increases in both salary and social.
Resigning was no longer the best option despite the fact that I was looking to discover new things and get into a different dynamic. Internally, they were already working on it and a reorientation of my career plan was underway. In the meantime, I have agreed to take the lead of the pole, the time to find myself a different base from my usual domain. It was not a complex thing since I was already the backup for the former manager and when he left I had to drive pole for a long time as an interim driver. I just didn't want to hang around there so as to condemn myself to it because I not only had the urge, but also the need for new challenges.
Leaving the open-plan to go to the designated manager's office made me proud, but at the same time I had a slight pang in my heart. It separated me both physically and hierarchically from my companions. Had it not been for the confidentiality of certain interviews that I had to hold, of documents and presentations to build, or of subjects to be dealt with in conf-call or face-to-face in a reserved manner, I would have gladly remained in this friendly space of sharing, decompressed and full. of complicity. After all it’s just a title, but in reality nothing was changing at my level. I spent as much time there as I could afford the office door always open (except in special cases). The subjects on which I worked according to the degrees of importance and criticality, I always assigned a holder and his backup to ensure business continuity. I was always there, available and willing to collaborate, guide, support, guide and cover those who needed it. It all took place in an inclusive atmosphere.
I had my work reread after my work, in order to have a fresh look at my deliverables. I gathered the opinions of each other on the subjects that arose. I relied on each person's areas of expertise to perfect some of my analyzes and make sure I was delivering. At the corporate level, I received encouragement from my young age and the responsibilities I was able to achieve in the space of six years. The perception people had of me didn't seem to stray from the way they saw me when we happened to collaborate. I was looking forward to it. It is true that my companions preceded me by an average of a decade, but I was able to navigate my way and thus drive a team full of skills which, in the past, however welcomed the young girl that I was.
Me, who thought the challenges were over, Flip-flop. I was seriously wrong. There were indeed, just that I had not apprehended them where it was necessary. I was now facing anything that could interfere with relationship skills. I was facing reactions, heists, sabotages, refusals, defiant returns that I cannot explain until now. It was reflected a lot in the aura and there was a real issue of legitimacy. I couldn't believe it. So I had to double, see triple, work so that these blanks were not perceptible by external departments. The pole was to remain a block and totally transparent and united. Internally, we would find the means to readjust. It became more and more burdensome and trying in terms of daily management. From non-completion of tasks, to hang up calls, boycotting internal meetings, repeated absences, clearly served slights and minimal work provided, I have stored up a lot. At the same time, I was learning a lot about myself, because theoretically I would never have imagined myself having to put up with all of this. Like what it is true when we say that we ignore our strength until the moment when staying strong remains our only option. This is where I was. I knew that I would not go on forever, and I did not want in any way to be the one who would materialize or mar the career of these collaborators whom I had known from other horizons and who, for I do not know what reasons, behaved in this way. Who knows, sometimes we all go through dark times in our lives?
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