27 August 2021, Elle
At the same time, those who were close to me detected these things and never failed to reassure me, to support me, to put me back in confidence by reminding me that I was able to get out of it and that no matter what. , people are not fooled and were aware of everything that happened.
It has even happened on several occasions that from up there, disciplinary measures demanded to be applied; idea that I have always refuted. Even if at times, I didn't miss the desire. Question of pride and capacity of absorption, it is human after all. Except that every time I thought I had reached my limits, these people with whom I forged stronger bonds than I could have imagined one day, reminded me that I was strong and capable of not let go in this tide of heavy and dark feelings. That's why it's important to surround yourself with the right people. Because, when, at one time or another, we feel lost and too tested by the vagaries of life, they will be there those people to guide us in the direction of what will always keep us rewarding, honest and commendable. Thus, I supported with a smile, the heavy weight of these countless worries, which in the end were trampled on thanks to these stars which illuminated these long dark moments which I was eager to see the end of.
The end, I had to fix it quickly and intelligently. Holding on for a definite period is well doable, but letting it go long was not an option. That we were heading towards another decisive turning point of which I was beginning to be an important pillar. I no longer wanted to be in this perimeter, nor to evolve in this momentum, nor to work in these circumstances even if at one point, I found my warm collaborators of yesteryear. Surely after deep introspection, they realized the differences in behavior and still had the humility to apologize for these inconveniences. After all, it was the best end. This electric aura evaporated and the good atmosphere was once again present. It was profound relaxation not to have reacted hot in these moments of not having any administrative action. I could certainly have justified any act that was attributable to me, but the pride in coming out of it in such a passive way was much more important.
By design, the timing was perfect to bring this episode to a close. It was time to put the experience back in the experiences drawer and move on to another stage.
So the moment had arrived which I had put off for a long time. That of the return to the host land that I had frozen in favor of a renewed internship, fixed-term and indefinite contracts. ¨Indeterminate¨ which was not really because in the end, it resulted in a suspension in exchange for a new breath.
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