“I made him believe that I was pregnant because…” What to do with this love?” (2)

… After that I don't know how we got back together while being his adorable friend, with whom he felt good. That's how I saw it. Another day also I don't know what he did to me and I decided to really end it. I went to his house at 9 am, I told one of his friends to go wake him up because it was early. I admit it, I was impatient to tell him that the two of us were no longer possible and so I entered his house, I went to the living room... He left his room with his "Djéllahah" and went to the toilet without even saying hello! I took it upon myself and choking with anger "GRRRRR", he comes back and gives me a hello like he's struggling to say it, I assure you! I walk into the bedroom I take his computer, manipulate it and all of a sudden I start to cry and he had to wonder why.

I put myself in such a state, I told him that it was over between us that I no longer wanted this relationship; always the same speech… He took me in his arms, he was very gentle! Then the talk followed, then he accompanied me and in the middle of the road he had asked me to go with him I do not know where. We left together and we were discussing, he explained to me that he had girls circling around him and that of course there was his girl there but there was me too, and that I had to trust him. It was OUT OF QUESTION for me, no, but frankly, I who am pessimistic, shy and suspicious… NEVER!

We remained “friends who do good” (lol). I'm not sure if you understand it, it's so strong between the two of us that at the slightest opportunity we kiss, some flirtations… the routine... One of the things that marked me so it was when he told me that I was demonizing him and it was true. Everything he did, NOTHING, was good, EVERYTHING had to be perfect or we all know it's impossible, there are ups and downs but hey ... to do things that were not very nice, I would shoot him down at the slightest opportunity and if he didn't really care about me he wouldn't have done it.

And here are things like that we lived… and I stayed about 6 or 7 months without going to his place. It was a challenge that I had launched myself in a way and then I respected the other there, P. She did not deserve that ... Then a few months ago I went to his place always by invitation eh! Do not imagine the opposite ... We laughed; he teased me with one of his friends and filmed me with his phone and took off my scarf (I got veiled around June). Frankly, we were also accomplices and that has always been the case so it did me a lot of good and I had almost forgotten that we could flourish in this way. I don't even know how to explain this, in short it's weird!

After that again the ashes re-ignited! Now, we've made the most of it and I don't want to be the girl who serves him as “I don't know what but anything but a girl! So I took my distance again! And the best part is that during the month of April I made him believe that I was pregnant because once he had ejaculated on me... I specify I am a virgin (but, he had the possibility and he has never done it… I can tell him that! And this is one of the things that made me fall for him more. So he said to me “are you serious?” I said yes of course! He asked me to have an abortion if it was ever the case and I laughed, I told him that I would never kill someone ... just to spice up the situation, he literally begged me! I said I was going to think about it and I made him think I was okay...

A few days later, I tell him that I finally saw my period and the following Friday I told him the opposite just to see what I represented in his eyes ... He gets angry, asks me why I am like that with him and I tell him that I only told him what he wanted to hear! Then he left… along the way he texted me and told me I shouldn't lie to him, I was so pissed off too that I told him the truth. I told him I just wanted to know what his reaction would be and that I would always speak the truth unlike him and that I assumed the consequences of my actions ... The quarrel that ensued, I ended up not being no longer able to answer him because when I'm angry I don't speak at all ... It was what I needed to convince myself that not only has he lost my confidence but that he will never be serious with me. As much for me to start my “therapy,” I try not to see him anymore because if I want to be who I should be, I must not give up any more, let myself be done because it is difficult to resist someone that we like ! Till today....

Sometimes we get along but I keep my distance; he does a lot of it anyway but I can't trust him anymore… do you see the genre? This is how I held back until I forgot his birthday, well not forget, but I got high the day it was and so suddenly the next day he sends me a text to tell me that 'he could have tolerated anything but that. And that it was he who really cared about me! I was so ashamed! My God! I called him back on the spot he didn't pick up then I texted him he didn't answer and I dropped because I wasn't going to run after him after everything he said. He texted me several days later and I replied, then I texted him again to tell him that I was thinking of him late at night he replied. Now I am able to cope, to hold back in the face of my impulses because as I told you I am veiled I must persevere in my belief.

However, he is THE ONLY ONE I LOVE, because only he knew how to make me feel good and important to a person of the opposite sex. He is a lovely person apart from his immature side, and I am convinced that he will be a good husband and a good father Insha ALLAH. That's all I wish for him.

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