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Shores of Despair: My life between happiness and sorrow (4), by Safinousta

16 June 2020, Safinousta

It’s really easy not to recognize your torsos and throw all of your monstrosities into someone else’s account. Once, twice, we can tolerate and say to ourselves that it's just mistakes but when it becomes a habit.

The two friends were still telling each other their troubles when Mayriam realized that time was passing and that she had to go and pick up her daughter from school.

- Mayriam: Zutttt! Asta!
-Mina: ……
- Mayriam: my little girl, she finishes school at 4:45 pm. What if you came to my apartment so that I can introduce you to her and so that we can continue our conversation? Do you have anything planned tonight?
- Mina: wait, I'm calling mom to let her know. You know how it is with her.

“Always Considerate!”

- Mina: yes, I'm still the small and fragile Mina Touré for her and I'm not telling you the best. These days her main mission is to find me a husband. She keeps repeating to me that all my cousins have gotten away, and that as her only daughter, I have to honor her because of me she still couldn't get her “Ndawtal”! (Gifts offered by relatives and friends during weddings and other ceremonies)
-Mayriam: ah these Senegalese mothers always equal to themselves!
-Mina: Tell me about it! It sounds… Hello mom, you will never guess who I met…

Meanwhile, Mayriam call a taxi.

Half an hour later, they were all at Mayriam's. On the way, Asta never ceased to amaze Mina. The latter quickly became attached to her friend's daughter, who was now sleeping in her arms.

-Mina: Ooooohhh darling I don't know what your ex could have done to you, but he did a good job, this little one is adorable, she is so cute.
-Mayriam: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm going to… Lol yes I admit anyway. But don't forget too, my genes have something to do with it, even if she has the spitting image of her father.
- Mina: Yes, I admit… your hair, your complexion, your little fads….. What if I helped you tidy up this mess? I don't find myself in this mess.
-Mayriam: Still so maniac eh ?! I really have a lot to do, so I gladly accept your help. Wait until I put the little one to bed.
-Mina: be very nice but I think we will need a “male help”.
-Mayriam: lol you're right, I'm calling my next door neighbor. He's pretty cool. I just hope he's there I understand he doesn't have a set work schedule.

Ding Dong! The door opened on the first ring. Salam Ibrahima, how are you doing? I'm unpacking my boxes, and I was wondering if you weren't too busy, we need a little help.
-Ibrahima: “Wa Aleykoum Salam”, I'm fine “Alhamdoulilah”, Sure I will be happy to help you.
-Mayriam: oh thank you it's so kind.

My neighbor is a charming but above all he is a nice guy, his nascent beard well maintained, his sober dress style, his diction reflect real piety. I don't often trust appearances; I value him without really knowing him.

I made the introductions and a few minutes later we were in the middle of a work session, also in the middle of a non-verbal torture session, Mina kept asking me, believe that this man is not indifferent to her.

We finished at 9 p.m. I invited Ibrahima to stay for dinner with us; he was a little reluctant at first but eventually gave up. I am rather tenacious when I want. Mina was thrilled.

-Mina: well, we did a good job, huh Ibrahima?

And it was the beginning of a rich and pleasant conversation. I discovered other qualities in Ibrahima, in addition to being so kind, he is cultivated. The order arrived, I left them alone in the living room, time to reheat the meal in the microwave and go wake up and change Asta.

It was getting late and Mina leaves and promised to come and spend the day with us on Saturday, Ibrahima offered to accompany her. I was exhausted; I ended up falling asleep on the sofa wanting to follow the replay of my cooking show.

The next day, the morning routine… Asta was at school, I had the whole morning to clean up and the afternoon to go see my family, just to reassure them a little. I blame them for sure, but I only have them now.

I showed up at the house just after Zuhr’s prayer, it was Friday, the holiest of days and I had been performing it at the mosque for quite some time. The difficulties of life certainly hurt me, but they also helped strengthen my faith and bring me closer to my Creator.

What I didn't know was that once again my aunt Racky was still playing her favorite role of matchmaker. I surprised her on the phone, and you will never guess with whom, with my ex! She didn't even hear me come in.

-Racky: …… You have nothing to worry about, trust me ……
-Mayriam: Salam
-Racky:…. (Disturbed) …… It sounds good. Thank you. Take care of yourself. Hello Mayriam, how are you. It’s been a long time. I miss you.
-Mayriam: Me too. How are you doing?
-Racky: I am doing fine. How is Asta doing?
-Mayriam: She is at school, that’s why I did not have the opportunity to bring her here. How is uncle doing?

After the usual greetings, I wasted no time in returning. She did everything to hold me back. Guess what, she had told Momar that I will be spending this afternoon at home. I only realized their plot when I got home. As soon as we got home, the doorbell rang already.

I was shocked when I opened the door. I guess he followed me; my apartment is only a 30 minute walk from my uncle's house.

-Momar: Salam
-Mayriam: Salam, what are you doing here?
-Momar: and you don't even invite me in?
-Mayriam: sir is always arrogant, it looks like it/
-Momar: I don't recognize you anymore honey
-Mayriam: I don't know what motivates you but just understand that I don't have time to chat with you. Besides, I have to go out. I still had 1 hour before Asta finishes school, but I did not want to bear the look of this monster and knowing him well enough I know he will not let go. Well I'm leaving. I quickly grabbed my bag and took the stairs before he had time to put throw a word. He followed me and even wanted to drop me off.

-Mayriam: (I prefer that my daughter still believes he is on a trip, I especially don't want her to be traumatized by her father) ... I left him it in front of the building and quickly disappeared in a taxi. I’m not even surprised that he didn’t dare to hear from his daughter.

Seeing this individual again, meeting his evil gaze gave me chills. I wonder how I managed to face it like this. I couldn't help but remember that famous night ... where it all really started...

It was July 17, I came back from a family ceremony, that day, it was him who had dropped me off at my cousin's house in the morning and himself who had given us permission to stay sleep there. However clever he is, he wore his mask well in front of the family but did not hesitate to take it off when he came to me.

I entered the living room around 9 p.m. with my daughter, I could have spent the night, but I doubted her good intentions.

What was not my surprise when I saw him walk towards us like a fury. I did not have time to react that he was already pulling my hair, our child was crying, it did not stop him an inch.

- Momar: it will be the last time that you hurt me with your family, you sort of tr...... you think it is your duty to abandon your husband to go strutting I do not know where? !!!

I didn't even care about myself anymore, nor to try to explain myself or the violence of the blows he administered to me, Asta was barely 2 years old, but seeing her witnessing this scene upset me. When I woke up, my body was sore, my face was puffy, I didn't want her to realize my suffering, I entrusted it to my neighbors once her father left for work. And the latter had the nerve to ask for my forgiveness, arguing that it was not his fault, that it was my entire fault and that he would never do it again.

It’s really easy not to recognize your torsos and throw all of your monstrosities into someone else’s account. Once, twice, we can tolerate and say to ourselves that it's just mistakes but when it becomes a habit.

Do you really believe that he kept his promise?
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