Shores of Despair: My life between happiness and sorrow (5)
Essential things like human values depreciated in their eyes and what mattered was that I found myself someone who was financially ready, well built and noble.Published on June 22, 2020, Safinousta
It was Saturday; Mina kept her promise and arrived at home around 11am. After having prepared a good royal breakfast as she liked so much, “Croque-Monsieur”, Spanish Omelets, Grilled Toast, Nutella, Black Card, Sorrel Juice (she's kind of crazy about everything and having nothing to watch, I always envied her slimness) she forced me to go shopping, she insisted that we celebrate my birthday.
- Mayriam: you know that for me it's only a reminder of time, so I never took the initiative to celebrate it.
-Mina: yes madam, but there it is your dear friend who wants to see you shine even if it is for one evening, your zest for life, I miss the real Mayriam. Please just say yes. Besides, we’re 30 years old, only once.
-Mayriam: I cannot refuse you anything, but add to your agenda, Madam Organizer, that of your daughter who will also be 4 years old in exactly 1 month 16 days.
-Mina: Oh damn, I will not be in the country, I have a mission planned. You know, I have to go for an additional training in Belgium. Our group has implemented a new banking communication platform. And I'm not telling you everything, I wanted to surprise you, but hey, while I'm at it, I'm going to be appointed financial director of our subsidiary in Dakar.
- Mayriam: Really? But it's nice my beautiful! Finally there is something to celebrate. In my arms, I always knew that you would be our pride. Fighter, serious, devoted to your studies.
-Mina: Huumm, you think? I do no longer remember about the girl who always stole the top mark from me, that one who liked to whine after a test and who always ended up nourishing in me a bit of jealousy! Wouldn't you remember her initials? She made me mad sometimes, that girl, Oh yes the initials were M.C, it comes back to me
-Mayriam: Lol ! me no no idea
-Mina: yes that's it! And will you really have to explain to me why you stopped here? But, no one will forget my “daughter’s day.” I'm counting on you.
-Mayriam: we will wait for you! But we need to talk, huh, I watched you the other night.
-Mina: hummm what's wrong with me? Laughter!
-Mayriam: in addition she is clever, do you like this guy?
-Mina: Who?! Your neighbor?
-Mayriam: Who else? I’ve never seen you so cheerful with strangers especially a man.
-Mina: You know me and men… But I don't know, I don't know what little extra he has and which makes the difference. But it won't be long before I find out. Lol! Don't look at me with that cop look. He almost invited me to dinner with him, it turns out that we are both lovers of Mexican cuisine; he also revealed to me that he had his own corner.
-Mayriam: and there you thought he wanted to take you there?
-Mina: Nooooo he just said that he never had the privilege of making someone discover it, but did not add anything more. I didn't want to propose something. Don't worry sweetie, I'm just kidding. I admit that I flashed on him, but it will pass quickly, and seeing how you suffer, I am even more wary of men. Now tell me what happened, please tell me.
-Mayriam: I don't judge you, I wouldn't want you to have to endure all of this one day…
After the episode of Ismael’s visit, my family kept spitting at me, after many attempts to make them understand the reasons of our issues and which all ended in failure, I decided to break up with him. It was the beginning of indoctrination for me. I let them run my life and impose their choices and aspirations on me. I thought to myself that this was perhaps the best thing to do, since in Senegal, a child did not really have a right to a chapter and had to follow and endorse the parental ideology without providing his opinion, without revealing what s/he really feel.
I was 20 years old, I had passed the entrance exam to a big business school and my life was going well. 2 years later, I was undergraduate, my schedule revolved around my courses and the house, I did not give more importance to the men I met. I was actually just tired of the harsh remarks from my mother and aunt, everyone I presented to them was either too poor or too puny when the question of caste did not arise.
Essential things like human values depreciated in their eyes and what mattered was that I found myself someone who was financially ready, well built and noble. I asked them to introduce me to the perfect man since that was obviously what they wanted. But I didn’t expect them to make a choice for me. What I didn’t know was that I let myself be subconsciously manipulated telling myself that they knew what was best for me.
One day I got to know Momar, I came home from school, there were students at the university front, suddenly a lot of buses were paralyzed, and taxis had deserted the area. I decided to walk along the ledge telling me that a little exercise would do me good. Barely ten minutes walk, a Jeep Grand Cherokee slowed down to my height. I didn't even take care to look up. I always hated being apostrophized like this.
-Mina: yes I remember well that time when the Tangana seller praised you after you sent this old man for a walk.
-Mayriam: I think I would have been safer with this old man than with this man. Despite my persistent indifference, the gentleman was not discouraged.
- … I know that you are wary of this stranger who comes out of nowhere but would you just like to give a good believer the opportunity to reap a good deed? I believe that you are going in the same direction as me, go up and you shorten the path.
I believed in his good intentions, and I accepted not only that he shortened my journey but also that he dropped me off outside my house.
-… : my name is Momar Seydi, and you?
-Mayriam: Mayriam Chehab, delighted.
- Momar: All the pleasure is mine. You are a student I presume.
-Momar: Where are you going exactly?
-Mayriam: I'll be happy if you drop me off right after the next intersection
-Momar: I don't mind dropping you off at home, plus you owe me that!
-Mayriam: sighs! Ok let's go then
-Momar: Great! How about you tell me about yourself?
-Mayriam: excuse me, but as a passenger I must not have a conversation with the driver, this is by no means recommended.
-Momar: nice excuse. And you would not like to know more about me?
-Momar: you are very talkative.
-Mayriam: yes, I am often told this. We are almost there; take the second lane on your left. Yes right there it’s good.
-Momar: So there we are, already! I admit that I started to get used to your company.
-Mayriam: (thoughts: and who does he think he is, that pretentious?)
-Momar: Since you refused to tell me more about yourself, hold my business card, I hope to hear from you one of these four.
-Mayriam: thank you, goodbye
From the first day this guy exasperated me despite his handsomeness, his elegance and his refined manners.
-Mina: if you were already wary of him, how is it that you got there?
-Mayriam: I didn't plan to call him, at least the idea that it could happen had never crossed my mind...