Love and family
06 September 2021, Seytoo
Considerate interest in one's spouse cannot be conceded in a simple manner; otherwise it will be hurtful condescension. The tenderness that takes care provides strength and energy to face everyday life and its aridity.
It can be read in the looks, got along in the words, feel in the gestures, and flourish the heart and the body. A couple cannot last without cultivating tenderness.
“My husband, (my wife) is there without being there.” This complaint reveals that tenderness is perhaps above all a quality of presence. An interior attitude of tenderness is necessary without which gestures can lose their meaning. A gesture of tenderness may be poorly received because it is accompanied by simultaneous evidence of indifference.
Thus, “tenderness arises from understanding the state of mind of others and tends to communicate to them how close we are to them.” Considerate interest in one's spouse cannot be conceded in a simple manner; otherwise it will be hurtful condescension. The tenderness that takes care provides strength and energy to face everyday life and its aridity.
It is an invaluable gift given to children. Tenderness is selfless, permanent, and cannot be used to achieve sexual union. However, it is necessary there, to dissolve worries, misunderstandings, and promote the abandonment of the body. Tenderness nourishes love, allows it to express itself, and makes it real and alive. It gives it softness, to replace the passion that knows its ups and downs. It helps to live the moments of continence.
The atmosphere of tenderness between the spouses is an invaluable gift to the children. It also envelops them, gives them a feeling of security and makes them confident in the relationship, in a possible future as a couple for them too. They breathe it without realizing it, but fortify them, stabilize them.
A “firm” tenderness, not a sore sentimentality. She must be firm so as not to fall into a cutesy sentimentality. It is different from that given to a child for development.
Tenderness between spouses is not mothering. She has the steadfastness that goes with a mature adult love that uplifts the other. It’s not stuffy cajoling, it’s the reassurance offered to my spouse that he is important, interesting, unique.
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