Love and family
27 July 2021, Khady LO
“My beautiful family accuses me of bringing bad luck. My co-wife is jealous of the son I gave to our husband because she only has daughters. She often plots against me to hurt me with my mother-in-law and my husband...”
Women of emigrants are no longer delusional. They know their spouses are polygamists and make it up to them. This is the case of B. M., 25, mother of two children and the first wife of an immigrant who has three wives. In just six years of marriage, this beautiful, ebony young woman has been joined by two co-wives - one every two years. “Polygamy is not bad. On the contrary, despite the difficulties, we try to get along and manage the day-to-day well. Our husband does everything to put us in good conditions, we try not to disturb him with quarrels between women,”she pleads between two smiles.
While B. M. seems to be satisfied with this situation, N. A. F., she did not know that by marrying P. G., she linked her fate to that of another woman. She had met her husband during a Magal (religious festival of the brotherhood of the Mourides commemorating the departure into exile of their guide Sheikh Ahmadou Bamba) in Touba, Senegal. She did not know anything about her marital status until the day she left the village to join the marital home. “That day I found out along with my aunts that he had lied all the way. He had a wife and two children. It was a terrible shock that completely ruined my wedding night,”she recalls, her throat tight.
Her husband had made her believe that he had built a "castle" for her in Louga. “The whole village was just talking about it. My girlfriends were jealous because he showed everyone the picture of the beautiful house he had given me as a gift. He had promised me that I would only live there provisionally, while he prepared me for papers so that I could join him in Italy,”she said, in a voice full of annoyance.
In fact, in addition to his co-wife and three children, N. A .F. shares her home with her husband's mother, her two divorced sisters, the wives and children of her four other brothers. Since her wedding, she has only seen him again during her brief stays in Senegal. Since 2003, his life has been summed up in quarrels and fights with his co-wife or his sisters-in-law. “My beautiful family accuses me of bringing bad luck. My co-wife is jealous of the son I gave to our husband because she only has daughters. She often plots against me to hurt me with my mother-in-law and my husband, ”she emphasizes.
She has a scar on her face, proof of the many fights in which she takes part. In 2004, Awa spent a month in prison because of a feud that escalated. She had scalded her co-wife who had tried to cut off her ear. “I regret that this has tainted my life. From now on, I no longer pay attention to gibes and mockery to avoid quarrels,”she said resignedly.
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