How to control your feeling of love, and why should you?
Love, relationship and family
Learning to wait begins in childhood by training your mind.Updated on November 29, 2020, Fallou
“Falling in love,” is seen as very revealing. It means that I didn't decide to love, that it happened to me, and that I am passive; there was nothing I could do about it.
It is very important to make this distinction, because a young person who experiences a feeling of love sincerely believes that he is in a “deep love.” But the feeling can come and go, surprise me many times, sometimes in a short period of time. It is located at the level of desire, therefore of the body.
It is very different from loving, a decision based on willingness. To love is to desire to give oneself to others for their own good, their happiness. Desire in itself is neither good nor bad; it's all about how to handle it. I often make the comparison of the rider (the will) and his mount (the body). You have to hold the horse with short reins so as not to go too early, too fast, too close. The same is also important is love relationships.
How to control a feeling of love?
By being silent! The silence about what you feel allows you to take a distance, and sometimes to perceive quite quickly that it was not so deep. It does not mean that you should not express your love to someone. But take a moment to think, think and think again to make sure that what will be said has a true meaning.
But it’s a tough effort to ask young people who are used to doing what they want when they want to. Are they able to wait for the person they love, to respect them, when they have such a hard time depriving themselves of their cell phone for a day?
This raises the question of willpower and education in frustration. Learning to wait begins in childhood by training your mind. If you order two toasts for snack or make your bed every morning, you get the children to stick to it. Sport can allow you to surpass yourself: learning to walk to the goal set, waiting for a break to drink ... Under the pretext of good well-being, we often miss these innocuous limits that make up education.
The learning of commitment also goes through frustrations: attending the scout meeting despite a family reunion ... When a young person has overcome the difficulty, he discovers the joy of the effort made, and it is the role of a parent to verbalize this inner joy. While pleasure is good in itself, it is fleeting, while happiness is built over time.