“My mother and I” (The secret story of an incestuous man)
This event changed our relationship forever. We stopped all hugging sessions and we never talked about that famous night again. It was the only time we crossed the forbidden.Published on July 13, 2020, Annonymous
I am an only child and when I was about 12 years old, my father left, leaving my mother alone with me. We both found ourselves alone, our life became more complicated because my mother earned only a small salary and it is hard to make ends meet. For my part, I had to manage on my own to go to school, do some housework at home and cook food in the evening because my mother often came home very late. She was always very sad, and she often cried at night. When I saw her cry, I came to take her in my hands and we hugged each other to comfort ourselves... nothing bad until then. Then, hugs in the evening became more and more frequent, even when she was not crying…
One evening when I came home from work, my mother complained of a chest ache and said that she has trouble breathing. She asked me to rub her on the chest to help her relieve the pain. What I have done. I put this ointment in the palm of my hand and then I started to rub on her chest, on her breasts. In a strange sensation, I felt her breasts harden. I looked at my mother to try to find a reaction at home, but she closed her eyes and showed no reaction. After a few minutes, I guess she was feeling better, so I stopped the massage session to get back to my business.
These massage sessions are repeated very frequently thereafter. When she came home late at night, my mother asked me to massage her chest, back and lower back. She took off the top during the massage. I was between twelve and thirteen at that time, and I have a feeling that is both embarrassed but mixed with some pleasure. It's strange because at some point, I no longer see the person I pass my hand over like my mom, but like any woman. It is during these moments that I experience real pleasure in making these gestures: I am just caressing a woman. I think this pleasure is reciprocal because she manifested from time to time some moans to make me understand that it was good for her.
As long as we stayed within that limit, it was no more a problem than that. These massage sessions were a little game that made us feel good, especially to my mother who is beginning to regain the joy of living. This situation lasted until my 16 and half years without much particular concern.
A few days before my 17th birthday, one evening, barely outside the door of the house, my mother announced that she had just lost her job. She told me that she was very worried about our future and she fell into my arms crying. Seeing that she was completely exhausted, I take her to her room to rest. I wanted to let her rest but she asked me to stay with her for a while. I stayed and we are starting to cuddle as we often did. But this evening will mark my life forever since my mother decided to go further. The “hugs” no longer stopped at the faces and hands as we did before but his hands went to the much more intimate places of my body. Not wanting to upset her, I let myself go and got caught up quickly. In my turn, I too gave her petting in the places that are normally forbidden between a mother and a son. But that evening, nothing and no one was there to call us to order, so what had to happen happened.
I don't know how long we were in these intense caresses; all I remember is that at one point we found ourselves both naked. We were just a man and a woman in the heat of the moment without any restraint, looking for pleasure. I had no experience, I never knew any girl with whom I could go to this limit. Obviously I was perfectly clumsy in the action and I had trouble “getting out of it.” When I was trying desperately but I couldn't, my mother decided to take matters into my own hands to help me get inside...
For the first time in a young man’s life, I was making love. The immense pleasure which gave me at that time made me completely forget that the woman who was lying below me was my own mother and I am making love with her. Like all the young men doing this for the first time, I couldn't make the pleasure last and I was on the verge of finishing the act. At this precise moment, I think that my mother came back little by little to her, because a fraction of second before I took my last pleasure, she pushed me violently out of her so that what came out of me is not in her. She calmly asked me to leave her room before turning to face the wall, in the fetus position. When I left the room, I turned to look at her naked body from behind, wondering what was happening to me.
This event changed our relationship forever. We stopped all hugging sessions and we never talked about that famous night again. It was the only time we crossed the forbidden. Thereafter, we tried to maintain a mother-son relationship as normal as possible in the following year, then I left the house at my 18 years. My mother has since passed away, brought with her part of our secret.
Oddly, you believe me or not, but I'm not more traumatized than that from this experience. I found this experience rather pleasant and since that night, when we decided to stop all deviant behavior, we had found everyone's place. Today, I have a completely normal family life and when it happens to me to think of my mother, it is always with immense respect and love, as all sons can think of a mother.”