“What is stopping me from loving?”

“I am 18 years old and I face a big problem: I have been single for too long. In fact, I only dated one person during my teenage years, when I was 14 years old. All my relatives ask me why I don't have anyone, and some people think I have homosexual tendencies, which I don't at all. My relatives want at all costs to ‘fit’ me, which I do not want. Well that is what I do not think I want…

Am I afraid to commit? Or am I just fine alone? Am I afraid of hurting a woman? Or am I not attractive? So many questions that I ask myself and which is the source of my discomfort. It hurts to see the world that loves itself when I haven't known it ... I think I don't even know what it feels like to love ... I'm lost, between the career (I want to be Firefighter), love and me… I want to love a woman, but the thing that prevents me is who or what?”