Society and lifestyle
14 September 2021, Imene
“It might sound weird, but I didn't know you could be gay and Muslim...”
After seeing that an association of homosexuals claimed to be Muslim, I wondered what precisely Islam’s view on homosexuality was. It might sound weird, but I didn't know you could be gay and Muslim.
What does Islam say about homosexuality?
Homosexuality is prohibited in Islam. But what is condemned is not the homosexual as such but the one who indulges in his practice. Just like the angry person who would indulge in his anger, because then he is under the influence of Satan “Anger comes from Satan. And Satan was created out of fire,”(Ahmed). Without thinking, I feel it is more serious than drinking alcohol, lying or stealing (when these sins affect public order more). This may be due to my culture, but objectively, the practice of homosexuality is condemned as much as the relationships that a heterosexual man or woman would have outside of marriage.
So, just as the angry person must come to the end of his anger, the homosexual person must come to the end of his homosexuality. Each of us has our own struggles to make against ourselves and homosexuality is the jihad of homosexuals. Because I am of the opinion that one is not “born” homosexual but that one becomes one.
Indeed, the debate on marriage for all should make us reflect on the importance of the parent-child relationship. I do believe that homosexuality is the consequence of a deep childhood injury. As the attachment needs with the same-sex parent have not been met, the adult seeks to mend this hurt by becoming homosexual. Children need to be shown our affection and to identify with the parent of the same sex as them. Here is an excerpt from an interesting article that I read: It is the attachment with the parent of the same sex that fills in the child the need to be loved by this parent and to identify with him (or her). The main driving force behind the homosexual drive is the need to compensate for deficits in the parent-child relationship. What gay men seek is to fill their normal need for attachment which has been abnormally neglected in the growth process.
We must therefore not reduce homosexuality to its physical expression but, on the contrary, understand that they are people in pain. This debate around gay marriage should therefore strongly encourage the Muslim community to think about solutions to help Muslims who have gay tendencies rather than simply condemning them. I was able to read a comment from a girl who asked if she could maintain her relationship with her own sister because the latter became homosexual. It's so sad! Islam emphasizes the importance of blood ties, even when someone from our family is not a believer. We need to be sure of ourselves and our religion enough to lead by example and maintain relationships, because who knows? People will then return to healthier practices thanks to the affection shown to them.
And beyond that, marriage for all must inspire Muslims to do everything possible to meet the needs of their children for affection and attachment. I am thinking in particular of fathers who do not show enough affection. The Prophet however gave us the example: He embraced the little ones, asked their permission, greeted them and gave them food first, never got angry with the children, hugged them, even played with them. ! Fathers, therefore, who are “tough” with their sons in order to make them “men” must remember the example of the Prophet and seriously think about the psychological wounds that their attitude can have on their children and their sons in particular. And we, as a community united by our love of God and of His Prophet, we should help each other in understanding, respect and mercy and not condemn without giving solutions. Indeed, Islam asks us to help our brothers and sisters, even when they commit injustice. According to Abu Houreira (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet said: “Help your brother whether he is unjust or the victim of injustice.” A man said: O Messenger of Allah! I help him if he suffers an injustice but if he is the one doing the injustice how do I help him?
The Prophet said: “You prevent him from being unjust, this is to help him.”
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