Confidence, courage, discretion…: How to always earn people’s respect?
Society and lifestyle
Whether with your loved ones or in the course of your professional life, you don't like arguments and you do everything to avoid them. Even if it frustrates you and infuriates you inside.Updated on November 26, 2020, Seytoo
At work, with your friends, and even at home with your family, you always feel like you are being stepped on and not being heard. Are you too kind? Not enough character? Where does this feeling come from and how can we change it?
Once again, you have given in to your boss: you are going to shift your holiday dates to arrange it. The poor invest so much in the company: he never counts his hours. You can't let go, just when he needs you.
The trouble is that this kind of situation is a bit your daily life. You are so kind and selfless that you put others before yourself all the time. Being also slightly naive, you don't think for a moment that they could take advantage of it or worse, lie to you.
That doesn't mean you have to get mean to get respect, far from it. You can become just a little more selfish in order to put your needs before those of others. You are a good girl, you just have to learn to protect yourself a little more from those who risk taking advantage of it, often without even realizing it.
Whether with your loved ones or in the course of your professional life, you don't like arguments and you do everything to avoid them. Even if it frustrates you and infuriates you inside.
The problem is, all too often this fear of conflict leads you to crash and shut up. And in the long run, it ends up weighing you down: you're tired of having your toes stepped on! Because others who have gotten to know you also benefit...
Don't be afraid of conflict and assert your personality. You have the right to get carried away from time to time. You will see that after a good fight, things often get back to normal. Yes, conflict makes progress!
The courage to stick with your opinions
The situation happens too often: you are with friends, you chat quietly, everything is fine. And then the discussion takes another turn: opinions diverge and voices begin to rise. There is debate. For you, it's instantaneous, you get into your shell. In fact, you know that no one is going to listen to you. In any case, for sure, you will not be the weight next to others who naturally manage to impose their opinion and with disconcerting ease.
Don't hesitate to defend your opinions. In your own way and as long as you are sincere, you can modestly express your opinion or even disagree. Argue, stay calm, be frank, sincere ... And above all dare! This does not mean that you will necessarily be right: you have the right to change your mind or to make a mistake. So you will not appear as a narrow-minded person, but as a person respectful of the opinions of others, therefore respectable!
No need to hide behind a character if you want to be respected. By pretending and playing at being someone else, your personality may ring hollow and inspire mistrust and doubt. Look at the spielers: are they really respected? No! Very quickly, they are unmasked and weakened. The more you are yourself, the more consistency your personality will take and the better you will be able to impose yourself.
Of course, when you are disrespected, you are sometimes tempted to respond aggressively.
Example: you try to clear your way to get on the bus when a woman walks past you casually, crushing your little toe in the process! You are angry and you lose your cool: you insult him.
Even if we understand your anger, this attitude is not respectable. It is much more in your interest to stay calm and take a step back from this situation, no matter how bad it is. Raise your tone, be firm, but don't get carried away.
Sometimes humour can even be a more effective response!
A neat image
First of all, rest assured, just because you have a "difficult" physique doesn't mean that you are not respectable. Respect goes far beyond appearance, it's much more subtle. Some impose it straight away despite physical defects.
On the other hand, that is not a reason not to take care of your image, on the contrary. Going regularly to the hairdresser, paying attention to your dress and style, taking care of your look... It is proof that you take care of yourself and that you respect yourself.
By showing the image of a good person in his skin and in his head, you have a better chance of being respected.
No, you don't have to be "big mouthed" to win. One of the keys to being respected by others is rather discretion.
Of course, at first glance, people who talk a lot about themselves and with disconcerting ease are often highly appreciated and therefore respected. Yet, over time, revealing yourself so much is a double-edged sword. Very quickly, by giving too many details about our personal life, it becomes easy for those around us to detect our weaknesses and to take a certain power.
You will understand, the loss of privacy is a weakening factor for respect. So be careful: choose the people in whom you confide.
By dint of accepting everything, you often find yourself in a position of submission to others. And of course, you are not satisfied with it.
Perhaps you even manage to avoid situations because you are afraid that you will have to accept something you don't want or because you know you will be unable to refuse them. From the outside, not only do we find you too nice, but also a little "good pear".
So how do you say no? There is obviously no miracle recipe, just common sense advice. For example, by anticipating situations, repeating what you are going to say and finding the right words in advance. A way to be serene and relaxed when the time comes. By also allowing yourself not to answer right away and allowing yourself a moment of reflection. Finally, avoiding constantly justifying yourself. Your turn to try. You may find that saying no is not that bad.
Your dream? Look like the finance manager of your company. With her perfect brushing, her sophisticated style and her confident walk, she is a real eye-catcher. And above all: what a charisma!
It's true she has a very bad temper and everyone fears her. But now, she knows how to make herself respected.
Well you are wrong! No, it is not by subjecting others to one's authority, by displaying an arrogant character and by inspiring fear and mistrust that one gains respect.
Even discreet and reserved, you can arouse admiration and respect!
Self-reflect to move forward
It is always said that the difficulties we experience have their origins in childhood. Finally this impression of not being able to assert yourself, you have always felt it more or less. It is indeed possible that you reproduce the model of your parents: they were always submissive to others and never dared to assert themselves either. Perhaps you were also educated in a not very rewarding family atmosphere, where all your initiatives were denigrated and that even today you lack self-confidence, for fear of doing wrong. Perhaps on the contrary, an overprotective entourage, never giving you any initiative, has made you a cautious person, unable to take risks and impose yourself.
As you can see, a little flashback can be useful in explaining certain traits of your character. Just being aware of it should help you move forward, gain self-confidence and thus gain respect for yourself.