Love and family
23 September 2021, Hawa
It’s not always rosy in couples. After the instinctual explosion of the first months, reality takes over. Slowly, we stop dreaming and decide to face reality! This is where the first difficulties are encountered.
This “other” that you have in front of you no longer meets your expectations. She has reactions that confuse you. She seems to get angry for no reason. Her mood darkens even as you seem to be doing everything to satisfy her. You are making new efforts; you are waiting for gratifying with gifts... And nothing! She is still not happy. Months at worst, years at best, everything is planned based on their dissimilarities, allowing to increase self-esteem and personal dignity, while inspiring mutual trust, individual responsibility, increased cooperation and greater love... What should you do since you are the man? Here are some tools to help you better understand women.
I immediately stop considering her as my clone. This is the first and most common mistake, the one that triggers all other problems. She is not only a different person, but also and above all a woman. She belongs to a species whose habits and language must be understood, as one would do with a person coming from a country whose language and culture are unknown.
I do not act on any message like, “It doesn't matter.” This is the absolute mistake! It is important not to minimize the magnitude of her problem. It is better to tell her: “I too would be tired if I was you” or “I too would not bear such behavior towards me.” This should be the start of a compassionate relationship with her.
I accept that she has close relationships with her friends. Men are often afraid of this female complicity. They fear female talk about them. However, there is nothing to fear. On the contrary. After these intense verbal exchanges, everyone returns home relieved, relaxed, more serene and ... more understanding!
I'm learning to let my feelings filter through. It's not about forcing yourself to artificially to express your feelings, but simply learning to let them emerge without hiding them when they arise. It can be learned, with a little patience and vigilance ...
I regularly tell her what I like about her… Her eyes, her mouth, her legs, but also her strength or her kindness, her efficiency or her tenderness… Without forcing yourself, without lying, by constantly repeating all the good to her what you think of her.
I do my best to make her feel guilty ... Women are the champions of all categories in terms of guilt. They never feel good enough: good mother, good wife, impeccable professional, physically perfect, intellectually on top ... Stop! No one can take on such a challenge. Yours knows that. Better to help him take a little distance ... By emphasizing his qualities often, for example.
I try not to be afraid of her sensuality anymore... Again, there are many differences. And more frightening priorities. Men and women do not have the same access to sexuality, the same sensual manifestations or the same elements of excitement. Not the same pace either... It takes effort on both sides to make these differences a treasure.
▼ Recommended for you