Why should you learn not to follow the crowd?
Life & Society
Being in the wind doesn't mean understanding what is going on around you, spotting in the world what claims to condition us? To be able to judge and to choose what is humanizing, fulfilling, even if the majority think otherwise?Updated on October 13, 2020, Denis
“Our chaplain told us about the restraint to have between boys and girls… but it is not in tune with times. I’m going to look like an old boy.”
So, you find your chaplain to be a bit old-fashioned and even completely out of step in his advice to the modern world, especially on the subject of sexuality.
And you mean living in the spirit of the times, in other words, being trendy... As we understand you: you want to be of your time! However, the norms in matters of sexuality and love have evolved so much that the girl and, a fortiori, the boy who have no sex life, the fiancés who do not cohabit before marriage, appear like fossils.
These new standards are all the more insidious and inciting because they are tacit and diffuse. They are not written in black and white but they are, as you say, in tune with the times, and we breathe them without knowing it. One is conditioned - often including adults themselves - that is to say, manipulated without knowing it.
God knows, however, if young people hate packaging! This is how they refuse to be guided by their parents and educators. And yet, they let themselves be fooled by the sirens of the sellers of sex, drugs and violence. These unscrupulous people produce lucrative magazines or films (an X movie costs nothing: neither set nor costume) which end up creating a noxious climate, promoting standards from which a young person often feels distant.
Hence the question to ask yourself: do you want to be part of the conditioned cohort yourself?
Allow me a second thought. You can pass for an old boy, you say. But that, in whose eyes? From your parents? I doubt. Other young people, your friends? If their thoughts unsettle you, then do you realize the power you give them? Where is your personality if you're afraid of their mockery, if you're just a puppet that others pull the strings?
Remember: we are born "old"! We are born with the weight of the past that is bequeathed to us; as a child, we copy the old, we imitate; and you only become "young" when you take a step back from your childhood, keeping what was good, refusing the rest.
To do exactly like your parents is to be conditioned; to do the opposite of one's parents for - allegedly - to be yourself is still to be conditioned, backwards! To be young is to tear yourself away from these conditioning of the past, by nibbling in the family heritage that there was great, and leaving aside what may have made us suffer.
But then let's not fall back into the rut: if you do like the others, you don't get younger, you copy.
How many young people give this compression of being already old, jaded, never satisfied, having lost their faculty of wonder! Don't think they are always as happy as they sometimes claim...
You become young if you invent the world of tomorrow by daring to be you, by breaking away from fashions; if you refuse to be a bleating sheep with others, ready to follow the flock, even if it is going to drown.
So, yes, be in the wind, but not like a dead leaf: like the sailing ship moving forward even using headwinds. Be trendy in the sense that, knowing your time and its weaknesses, you know how to resist them. Don't hesitate to go against the grain to be assertive and be you.
Being in the wind doesn't mean understanding what is going on around you, spotting in the world what claims to condition us? To be able to judge and to choose what is humanizing, fulfilling, even if the majority think otherwise?
Since, they say, there are no more standards, everyone is free to invent their own, then claim the right to live as you see fit. Dignified. Passionately. Usefully. Exercise your freedom: you are not abnormal in refusing supposedly modern behavior. Better yet: indicate, through the quality of your life, the direction of beauty, of truth, especially in terms of love and sexuality. The world, in this area, has lost its bearings. He needs doors ... He has enough trailers; he needs locomotives, which can lead him to the station of true happiness.